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yep, hi? its been a while huh.
as today is the first day of december 2022, i want to recap a bit about what happened in my november.
nothing much. but ya..
my november really goes beyond my expectation. if i can use the graph here to illustrate my november, it will show a very messy graph hahah. nothing went easy in our life. kan? if we see along the way in our life ni pun, nothing goes as planned. its either, you reach the destination with a lot of surprises along the way and reach the ending, or you get very smooth journey but, the plot twist is at the ending which means you get something different than you want.
actually, we know that. we always know that we have to prepare for the worse. because yep, we plan yada yada. but, there is The Best Planner. can't be denied, its hurt. ada masa, ketika tak ready, we just thought if something happened pun paling-paling kita rasa sakit tu sikit je. it will affect us with minimal pain. i was like that. i was wrong back then. i thought i would be fine. i thought its gonna be fine someday as i didnt expect something gonna happened and it affect me so huge.
but ya, at least i learned a lot. kan?
aku bawa rasa ini sampai bila-bila. aku tahu dan percaya tidak semudah itu rasa ini akan hilang dan berganti. aku berani kata 5 tahun kehadapan pun, aku masih tidak lepaskan rasa ini. sebab its really hit me hard. like so hard. but, through it aku jadi huda yang sekarang. walaupun aku tak suka huda yang sekarang. but at least i learn something. haha
if ada orang baca post yang ni, mesti orang tak faham. but its okay. hahahaha this blog dah macam jadi diary. tapi ya, kalau ada pun, just pray for me okie? the feeling tu tak best tapi i have to bear with it.
aku rajin sangat nak mengarang on 1st december is because i think, previous month really crazy. hahaha tak tahu lah nak letak perkataan yang sesuai apa. tapi memang gila. but ya, i hope another 5 years, huda akan tengok this post and i hope she will say, "this is just small matter. awak dah berjaya lalui dah da." i really hope she will. tak sabar.. haha :)
if i have a chance to deliver a message to someone :
thank you for existing in my journey. even though just for short time, it affects me so much. you taught me a lot. i regret a few things but sure i will be fine. you are the first person i meet and motivate me. you are the first person teach me the things which i think i wont understand. you are the first person that i trusted the most back then. you are the first person i know that i can rely on. thank you for being the most understanding person, without i need to comprehend my words. thank you for being so kind. thank you make me feel you are always there. i have a lot to say, but i guess i should have some boundaries kan.
i want to be like you. i need to fly high. so that, i can see you wherever you go. because i believe, you will be somewhere higher than where you are now. haha you already set high benchmark for me for my next journey. insyaAllah i can do this. i do hope i will see you in the future.
" adapt and improvise "
see ya.
